Dear Caitlyn Jenner, I am a woman whose biologic, gender and sexual identities are comfortably aligned in the dominant fashion, but am ready, willing and trying to embrace the full spectrum. I have made a lot of progress. I accept the limitations of a binary approach to identity and the word ellgeebeeteecue rolls off my…
Read MoreAs one of the few women who listens to sports radio, I am privileged to get the inside look at male-oriented ads – frantic last minute flowers or pajama-grams on Valentine’s or Mother’s Day, the heartbreak of low-T (i.e. testosterone) or ED (erectile dysfunction). This week a new ad appeared in heavy rotation – no…
Read MoreOn a quick dash through the grocery aisles to pick up last minute items – mascarpone cheese for a lime pie, lemon for the kale salad – I impulsively grabbed a novelty bag of “Kettle Cooked Black Garlic Chips.” When I got home I was filled with remorse; I realized that I had succumbed to…
Read MoreDear Rob Manfred, Major League Baseball Commissioner It is the beginning of baseball season, and I couldn’t care less. This is astonishing to me since I grew up surrounded by baseball. My mother taught me how to throw a baseball since she believed this was an important social skill for a girl. My grandfather taught…
Read MoreWhat can you deduce from the backs of people’s head sitting in front of you. What about this bald man?
Read MoreEven in the crowded writing conference, the bald man in front of me catches my eye, his noggin is as smooth as a bowling lane and as well-worn as a catcher’s mitt. He turns slightly and the fluorescent light ricochets offs his polished head, and I think about how his baldness has impoverished his…
Read MoreDear Dos Equis Beer, I am writing in regard to your recent announcement that you are retiring your spokesperson for your “Most Interesting Man in the World” beer campaign. I am excited by this opportunity to refresh your image. For years Dos Equis has insisted that a silver-haired, over-tanned and vaguely Euro-trashy playboy is the…
Read MoreSixty is a magical number, the six and the zero plumply nestled together and then flanked by the stern prime numbers 59 and 61. And 60 is so accommodating, evenly divisible by 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6; the next number in this sequence is the remote 420. The pleasing proportions of 60 might…
Read MoreOur seventh grade class was divided into several cliques: the boy crazy girls, the horse crazy girls, the sporty girls, the brainy girls and the blah girls, the default category of those with no mainstream identity. The boy crazy girls were defined by the fact that boys pursued them, the horse crazy girls by the fact…
Read MoreDear Coobie Bra Company, I would like to thank you for your bras, not for their comfort and modest price, both exemplary qualities, but for their unintended consequences. Your Coobie Bra has prompted me to directly confront my mortality as a new member of the senior generation. First I should say that I do not…
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