Open Letter to Dos Equis Beer

Dear Dos Equis Beer,

I am writing in regard to your recent announcement that you are retiring your spokesperson for your “Most Interesting Man in the World” beer campaign.  I am excited by this opportunity to refresh your image.  For years Dos Equis has insisted that a silver-haired, over-tanned and vaguely Euro-trashy playboy is the most interesting man in the world, but we are never told why.  We know he is wealthy based on his exotic exploits, but we don’t know how he earned his fortune.  He is surrounded by a bevy of fluttering young women, but we don’t know if they are attracted to him because he is interesting, wealthy or both, but I suppose the bottom line is that sex sells.  Now is the time to resolve these unknowns.  Swap out this caricature for a truly interesting character.  Add some reality to your premise.  I heartily nominate James Dyson, the inventor and spokesperson for the Dyson vacuum cleaner.

A vacuum cleaner salesman may seem to be an odd choice, but hear me out.  As a household engineer, Dyson fits your baseline premise; he is inherently interesting in a relatable way, the type of guy who finds practical solutions to everyday annoyances.  After all, his vacuum cleaner doesn’t need a bag and retains its suction as it accumulates dust and hair.  Certainly everyone has had at least one good idea – perhaps a better mousetrap or wine opener – just one brain storm separates all of us from James Dyson.  He will make us say “Why didn’t I think of that?  I could have made a fortune.”

You don’t need worry that your ads will promote vacuum cleaners instead of beer.  Your male audience won’t give a gnat’s ass about the virtues of a vacuum cleaner, but they will respond to the fruits of that one good idea, your implicit messages of sex and wealth.  In his current vacuum cleaner ads, Dyson is all tidied up in a sophisticated yet casual way and speaks with that soft clipped British accent that Americans love.  And he is easy on the eyes, very easy on the eyes.  This version of James Dyson will resonate with your white collar audience.  For your audience of average beer-swilling schlubs, you could scruff him up a bit and show him tinkering in his workshop.  I envision Dyson in a heather grey T-shirt, working hard on some sort of engine.  As he turns to the camera to give his testimonial, you can see a bit of sweat darkening his collar.  Focus on the collar only. Sweaty armpits are too down-market for your brand.  Dyson should also wear a big tool belt that clanks as he hitches it up.  Across time and cultures, women in kitchens have always succumbed to the je ne sais quoi sex appeal of workmen in tool belts.


Dyson also exudes the venerable sex appeal of wealth.  Your current spokesperson seems to live the life of the idle rich, a status that your drinkers may find unattainable.  Dyson ads can focus on the nobler image of earned wealth by profiling the toys he has accumulated – his enormous yacht Nahlin and his estate in France.  If you want to retain the bimbo-ish flavor of your current ads, I suppose you could show Dyson on the deck of his yacht, sipping Dos Equis and fending off nubile trophy hunters.

Your current ads conclude with the tag line,

“I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.  Stay thirsty my friends.”

Don’t worry, you can retain a pithy life lesson with a little wordsmithing.

“I don’t always have brilliant ideas, but when I do, I am usually drinking a Dos Equis.            Stay thirsty my friends.

With this revision you have deftly altered the image of Dos Equis as a lubricant for mindless partying to a work-reward, inspirational message.  Dos Equis is now positioned as the drink of choice for the intelligent man thinking great thoughts.  Aim higher, my friends.

By the way, you don’t have to stop with the Dyson vacuum.  You could have a series of ads profiling Dyson’s other successes.  There is the Dyson “Air Multiplier” a safer fan without the moving blades.  The other day in a public bathroom, I dried my hands in the “Dyson Airblade” hand dryer.  Instead of using heat, this dryer uses a thin sheet of moving air to squeegee the water away.  I slapped my head and said, “Why didn’t I think of that?  I need to relax more with a Dos Equis.”  I am sure that you could also mine some humor in Dyson’s failures, perhaps corrected with a contemplative glass of Dos Equis.

In short, James Dyson is the full package – a truly interesting and wealthy man with sex appeal resonating across the entire gamut of your audience.  I will leave it to your marketing department to make him an interesting offer.

Please let me know if you would like to discuss further.


Liza Blue

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