Pot Pouri
The Flies Have It
Stories require a setting and a few workable details to set the mood. Often this is weather-related (“it was a dark and stormy night…”), but here is my sure-fire suggestion to set a scene and provoke a mood. Add a fly. And give him human characteristics. In his essay The Supremacy of the Housefly, Twain…
Read MoreDear Lady in the Front Row Who Gasped
I was at the podium and you were sitting in the front row when I heard you gasp. Some may not have heard it, others thought it was nothing more than a quick intake of breath. I am going to call it a gasp because it changed my life. You validated me as a writer.…
Read MoreIn Praise of Kitchen Gadgets
There is nothing like a visit to Bed, Bath and Beyond to restore one’s confidence in American ingenuity. I’m not talking about the whiz bang intelligence required to send a man to Mars, invent the Internet, or thwart Russian hackers. I’m talking about the everyday can-do spirit of ordinary Americans who tinker in their…
Read MoreThe Slippery Slope to Sloth
Definition: Sloth /slôTH,slōTH/ noun 1. disinclination to action or labor; spiritual apathy Symbolized by a Lazy Boy in the living room. 2. A slow moving tropical American mammal Derived from the activity level of a human in a Lazy Boy My anxiety spikes as the burly delivery men settle the Lazy Boy into my…
Read MoreThe Lost Seinfeld Episode
When I picked up my deck stain at the Sherwin Williams store, I realized I’d stumbled onto the perfect scenario for a Seinfeld episode. I couldn’t believe that the beleaguered Seinfeld writers, who appeared to run out of ideas by the 9th season, missed this one. I had just listened to a history of the…
Read MoreThe Dumbest Player on the Hockey Team
Last month Nick and I spent 36 hours in the clutches of the Marquette General Hospital in the Upper Peninsula, Michigan, investigating his fleeting episode of chest pain, which turned out to be nothing more than a flush of heartburn. As we left, the nurse practitioner handed Nick a copy of his medical records to…
Read MoreOnly to Find Gideon’s Bible
My family rarely stayed in hotel rooms when we were kids, so when I first saw a Gideon Bible I thought that it had been left by a previous occupant named Gideon. I thought nothing more of it until 1968 when I heard the Beatles sing Rocky Racoon: Rocky Racoon checked into his room Only to…
Read MoreMind Trip
Driving makes me drowsy, so I am anxious as I contemplate my solo drive from my writer’s retreat in Montpelier, Vermont to my home north of Chicago. On most long drives, I wisely stop for refreshing naps. Once a wavering median line prompted me to pull over in Milwaukee just one hour north of my…
Read MoreDear Presbyterian Church
Dear Presbyterian Church of the United States, First I should explain that I am not really a Presbyterian, or any sort of church goer for that matter. I would classify myself more as a spiritual atheist and a cultural Christian. My family, however, has had a long history with the Presbyterian Church in my home…
Read MoreSymbolic Gestures
In college, I was convinced that symbolism would be my downfall. I’d never graduate. It all started in high school when I was a new sophomore in an all-girls boarding school. Mr. Shohet, my English teacher, seemed like an aggressive, angry sort, perhaps a frustrated author who resented having to teach callow over-privileged teenagers. He…
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