Dear Cottonelle Marketing Department: Positioning toilet paper as something other than an everyday commodity must be a challenge. Do you promote softness, or maybe strength, or somehow combine the two, all the while dancing around the taboo subject of body fluids? For years fussy Mr. Whipple delivered the message of softness as he secretly caressed…

Dear Lady at the Crematorium, Thank you very much for the tour of your facility. I was trying to minimize my father’s “final expenses,” so I appreciated your unpretentious office behind the Harley Davidson dealership. Last year when my mother died, I blew my budget on a deluxe funeral home complete with plush burgundy carpeting,…